Post Christmas fall out and Science Center Visit

Christmas passed with less tears and anxiety than anticipated. It was actually a great day. It was nice in that we were able to Skype with our families for something like 6 hours of the day. But, there were times of the day where we looked at each other and felt like we lived on the moon. It was almost like watching a happy family on the television. Then there were times where we were thrilled that we were able to see everyone and be a part of their day. As expected, it was emotional and as expected... we lived.

We had made plans to go to Omaha, Nebraska today; but it snowed in the west and we weren't interested in driving for three hours through snow for no good reason. We altered the plans to head to Des Moines to the Science Center instead.

As Des Moines is only an hour and a half away, cutting the drive time in half one way felt like we were winning something. Also, we've been wanting to visit the Science Center since we moved here- it was nice to cross that off of our "to do" list.

Play kitchen in the toddler area.

Plasma ball

Toddler area. Bridge with a blue window. 

Dad helping. 

We had no idea that there would be so much for Iyla to do there. We would have gone sooner. She played so well! We kept commenting the entire time about how well she was playing and how well she was taking it all in. We were thrilled that she was so inquisitive! She was far from shy with the other children, she would walk up to other children with her hands on her belly and squeal, "HI!" at them. She played with a nice older girl in the kitchen area and she found true love on the bridge area... which her father ruthlessly pulled her away from. We found that dinosaurs were a favorite, exclamations of "wow! wow! WOW!" and "woooe!" were not in short supply.

Ryan has a big bow shoot this Friday/Sat/Sunday. It's a big deal for him.

Lee will be here on Saturday! It will help the last week fly by, I hope. :)

Today felt right. It could be that we're only 2 weeks away from home; it could be that we felt "in control" of this parenting thing for once- whatever it was.. it was the lightest either of us have felt in quite some time.

love,
m r and i

the bitter taste of Christmas

Christmas, as a rule, is the most wonderful time of year.

For our family, Christmas eve is usually spent with the Georges; watching something or another on the tube while making some kind of wonderful misery for Sam.

Early Christmas morning is spent with each other, opening presents and excited chatter about the day. Then! Our favorite part of the day is where we go over to Lee and Gina's in our jams and Gina reads THE Christmas story to us. We pray for the day, our family, our coming year. There is a feeling of family that is so intimate and indescribable that passes over me every year, during this reading and prayer time - leaves me speechless.

Then, we rush about to get dressed for the day and head over to Poppop's house for Christmas breakfast, which is really quite grander than any feast even royals have ever seen. We do presents with them and then make our ways back to Lee and Gina's where we will lay about and wish we hadn't ate so much.

There is usually a sweet lull at this time. Just the siblings and Lee and Gina. Chatter about the mornings events and whatever new game Aaron is playing.

Then the Turners trickle in. Mam and Poppi hauling loads of boxes, Brad and Pam smiles brighter than the sun. Aunt Lynda and her clan clambering in. We do presents with them and then we settle in for dinner, promising not to eat as much as we did at breakfast - and usually failing.

The evening is spent with the house in a buzz, chatter of adults and some sort of squeals from some child or another. Then games are played until we can barely keep our eyes open anymore.

We go home to bed, where we fall asleep; bellies full, hearts content.

This Christmas, with so much tradition in place, is it any wonder that I am very close to wholeheartedly hoping to just stick my head under the covers and wait for Christmas to blow over? Much of this is centered around myself but there are parts of me that don't want Iyla to be a part of a "fake" Christmas. I mean, what else could it be but fake if it's not the thing that we usually do. (cut me slack, i'm not done talking yet, quit judging me.)
{ahem}
Oh, I've been heart sick over "missing Christmas" since October. I've ached and moaned silently, not wanting to share my pain with Ryan; who must be feeling the same thing 100 times over. Making light of it, "shew! we might actually save ourselves a heart attack from not eating so much!", and talking it down, "oh, we'll be there just 12 days later!" have certainly helped the panic and restlessness over "missing Christmas".

The more I've thought and fervently prayed about this, the more I've come to realize, I just need to take it for what it's worth and be thankful for what IS (and not wallow in what is being missed-both real and imagined).

I'm a dummy. There. It's out there.

I have a darling husband and a ray of light, who poses as my daughter. What world am I living in? How could I ever consider any circumstance, where they are present, Christmas to be "fake"?! Urgh. I hate that I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't see that at first.

And worse.

I was so wrapped up in my feelings of isolation that I totally overlooked the entire point of the holiday.

{I know! I know! Quit judging!}

I was so wrapped up in the advent of moving-  counting down and crossing dates off - that I overlooked and even hoped to skip the advent of Christ mas. 

The instant I came to this realization, it's really quite amazing how quickly my selfishness fell off me. The gravity of the "reason for the season" fell hard and fast into my heart. So much of society- the world at large- make Christmas out to be "the most wonderful time of year" a time where you just HAVE TO be happy or something is WRONG with you. There's so much pressure to be nauseatingly overjoyed, it got to me. I wanted perfect. I wanted "the usual". Christmas is such an event, it's all kinds of glittery and shiny- I thought I had to feel a certain way in order for Christmas to be "right". But I've come to see after an entire month of trying to dodge the Christmas bullet, today I see that I don't have to feed into the glitter, and I don't have to feel guilty about it.

I just need to recognize the promise of the season.

And celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Love you,
m

Home again, Home again, Jiggity jig

Moving is not my favorite thing to do. The packing and the unpacking… The repacking and the re-unpacking. Just when you think you know where something is, it’s gone again. {Did I give/throw [item] away or is it just in a box I have not unpacked since 2 moves ago?}

The last 2 years have felt very nomadic. If we weren’t visiting somewhere, we were getting ready to visit somewhere. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.

I love to travel, so, there is that advantage. But, I’ve found that traveling… Without a connection to a place I really felt was “home”- is really just going from one place to another. Think of it this way: you keep returning from vacations- and staying in someone else’s home- there’s no sense of homecoming or peace.

While our friends in Northern Iowa are among the dearest friends we have ever made, that house never felt like a home. I don’t think I ever once felt relaxed there. We are not town people and neither is Huck. I was always so worried about Huck getting lose and being hit by a car or someone doing something to hurt him. Being constantly “on guard” really wore on me. Ryan says he never felt the same way, but he isn’t prone to worry about much.

As for the house and location in Southern Iowa - it is everything we were missing in the north… However, we have really struggled to make and maintain strong relationships here.

When we have visited Delaware, I always felt like we were just visiting home for awhile and then we must return to our banishment when the visit was over. Even though we were only visiting, the sense of release and relaxation that came over me the second the plane would land was enough to break a heart- because the feeling could only ever last for the duration of the visit. 

So, no- moving is not my favorite thing to do. And we aren’t close to settling in for awhile, just yet; but this move is one I’m looking forward to with bells on.

This move, at least, gets us close to the people that make us feel at “home” again

moments to remember- Dancing

It takes my breath away when she dances. She shakes that tush like she's part ballerina, part Bollywood star- with a touch of Cuban club dancer. It. Is. Stunning.
She loves music and dance; she dances to everything from bluegrass to whatever music is passing on a commercial.

We were watching tv the other day and as we were flipping through the channels we paused on a PBS special of ballet dancers. Iyla was sitting on her dads lap on the couch, the second that she registered what was happening on the tv- she jumped off the couch and she ran to the tv. She stood in front of it in rapt attention for a minute and then she started to dance. She mimicked the dancers as they twirled and swayed. She held her hands up like they did and she turned around and around making herself dizzy.

We thought that when she went over to her toy box that she had lost interest in the dancers and were about to change the channel, but she grabbed her teddy and held him to her and twirled with him. Her and teddy danced until she fell over.

I, of course, couldn't keep my eyes dry through out the whole thing.

Pulled Up

 7 months pulled up on her own. 

Today: December 16

She's napping. I'm feeling all kinds of down and out. 25 days til the move. 

I had a BAD day, on the day it was 47 days left. Lots of crying, lots of feeling isolated and alone, lots of just sad stuff... for seemingly no reason. (Hormones are possible, I suppose.)

One of the things I told myself to get myself through the blues was, "It's okay to feel this way. 47 is an awful number. SO close to 50. SO far from 40. You won't keep feeling this way past 30 days. Past 30 days and you'll be in the home stretch."

So here we are. 25 days out. And I'm feeling like it's more like a 25 year jail sentence. I was told to suck it up buttercup and focus on the positives. 

SO

I'll just use my time to fill in the blanks of the last few months. Writing should be cathartic, right?

I went back to the last time I wrote- sometime near the ending of April and pulled up the pictures and videos from then. I'm glad I did. This little video of the first time Iyla pulled up put the biggest grin on my face.  

Look how proud of herself she is.

This was kind of a big "motherhood moment" for me. I was washing the dishes the first time she pulled up. I turned around to find that she was already pretty much standing up. I felt so disheartened that I had missed such a huge thing, for something as silly as the dishes. 

I have the best job in the world, watching this angel grow... and I'm missing things because I'm worried about the dishes- about the house being clean. 

It was just the wake up call I needed to play more, clean less, and focus more on holding tight to the small moments.

Band practice. 

7 months and Easter

Easter was slow as far as Easters go. Ryan was sick for a few days, he couldn't even eat the dinner I made. We are gonna be having the remnants of Easter dinner until next Easter. 12 lbs of meat is in the freezer, ready to be reheated at any moment. :)

I've tried to introduce the little girl to bubbles on several occasions, however, it appears that she doesn't trust them. We will continue to try. She cracks me up with her sense of what is "okay" and what is "totally not okay".

She grows so quickly, her personality is starting to peek through. It's a pretty exciting time. My only wish is that we had people around that could share that excitement.

29 Weeks and Around Our Towns

 I may be slightly obsessed with this little girl....

 She is growing faster than this Momma knows what to do with. She's sitting up on her own now, for the most part. She pays attention to EVERYTHING. Maybe even too much? Sleeping is not her favorite thing in the world, I bet she just doesn't want to miss anything. But 15-20 minute naps are just not enough for me to get much done though, so I would really like to see some longer naps outta this girl.

We have been seeing a lot of Southern Iowa. We are getting ready for you visitors! We want to show you guys a good time so we are researching our area for fun things to do and see, along with checking out the best places to eat. If you were THINKING about coming out this year... STOP THINKING. Come on out. We miss our people and we would love the company. :)

This was the National Balloon Museum - it was ... a museum. 

For those of you who Iowa just doesn't do it for... here's a taste of our towns. Since "our town" Lineville, only has a gas station, a shady restaurant  and a suspicious number of fire works work shops - we go to the surrounding towns quite a bit, so they are "ours" as well. The below is Corydon. Locals say it core-dun. 

ROW 1: The library and dollar store, the movie theater (open only Fri, Sat and Sunday- each day for only one showing at 6:30)

ROW 2: Scenes from around town, I'm not sure about that sign that claims this was the spot of a Jesse James robbery... I'll have to investigate further and report back later.
ROW 3: CLIO. Clio is the town closest to us, we live in Lineville, but Clio is closest. Clio has one business open on it's Main Street, (see the bottom right photo) the Hardware store. Home of very expensive dog food and dusty tools. Just outside of town is the red church shown below. We went last Sunday and liked it well enough, so we plan on attending this church. There were about 35 people there according to the sunday school attendance board and about 60 people call this their home church.

28.5 Weeks and the Perils of Living on the corner of No and Where

But really though, how excited does she look to be in the drivers seat of that tractor?

Looking for dog food in this town proved to be a fools errand. There is indeed dog food at the hardware store in town, but it's $39 and they don't take debit/credit cards -- and it's not BEAVERDAM-- so it's not worth the paper bag it's stored in. (Am I right Trivits clan?!) 

{Delawareans: go buy BEAVERDAM PET FOOD}
{Iowans: Sorry, the best dog food ever isn't available here, yet.} 
[Jenny: tell skip to ship me some dog food or my dog is going to die]

Had to drive to the town over, which only had 4-5 lb bags of dog food- which I hope won't cause the Huck any internal damage due to the shady nature of the $4 food. :/ 

Ryan was spreading the manure again today. He had to drive by the house to load his tractor up every 20-35 mins, he honked every time he passed. After the 5th+ time, Iyla and I gave in and had him stop to pick us up. We did a ride along with him for an hour or so. I'm not sure who was happier, him or her. She LOVVVVVED it. Our girl is a tractor fan, for sure. 

We had dinner in Ravanna, MO at a place called the PUMP HOUSE. The town has a water pump in the middle of the road and that's the restaurant's name sake. I think we found a favorite place to eat; excellent food, delicious dessert, and it's within a 30 min drive of our house (The largest factor). Downside? It's only open Thursday, Friday and Saturday - and Sunday for brunch.

I felt ultra aware of our many blessings today. Such a good, good day. 

Love to you all, 
r, M and I

Shout out to SW who made me smile today. <3 

28 Weeks- Iyla

New News:

The new chickens and ducklings are a favorite. Little arms and legs start flapping when poultry gets in her line of vision. She loves to sit with Momma or Daddy in the rocking chair while watching them waddle around in their box. We can stand her up next to the bird box and she likes to look in at them as well. We let her hold a biddy when we first got them. That was cute for .5 seconds. We forgot that she's got a grip like a pro arm wrestler. She almost ripped poor Margret Thatcher's head off. We never speak of the incident because Ryan had to pinch her to let go;  he is now scarred for life because he pinched his precious baby girl. He will deney it if pressed for an admission.

An investigation into thievery and tomfoolery to follow the suspicion of some breed of sock monster in the Collins residence. If that's not it, can somebody please explain why only ONE sock EVER stays on this child's feet? It's an epidemic. 

We do walks every day or so, depending on the weather. We enjoy visits to Dad in the shop or on the field.

She's getting the whole "giggle if it's funny thing", funny faces are something to giggle over (finally, I thought I was just so boring she would never laugh with me). 

We are settling into life on the farm quite nicely. Plants, poultry and baby are all growing well with the warming weather.

love to you all, 

m r and i

And on his farm he had a... duck... E I E I O

Talk about prayers answered with this GLORIOUS weather! Windy for sure, but as I recall, last year we were still neck high in fluffy white poison. No wonder we were just about clinical last year! We both keep commenting on how much lighter we feel here. I guess the sun does make the world of difference. (That and we didn't have our pile of instant "happy", baby girl.)














So, if you keep up with the facebooks, you know that we have adopted 3 chicks. "Joan" (of Arc), "Margaret" (Thatcher), and "Mary Queen of Scots". Ryan wanted to name them for "Great Women in Leadership" :D

Yesterday, we took a family day trip to Des Moines to enjoy the weather and expand our family further. We picked up the three darlings above, Virginia "Wolff", "Mary" Shelly, and "Jane" Austen. (Hey, there are other great women, besides in leadership.) 

We were able to pick up a few plants for my herb garden and GASP! ...
You will find this hard to believe, but, we were able to find time to stop at a few sportsmen stores as well. ;)

My vegetables are coming along well! I'm so glad that we will have lots of space for a great garden this year. 

Over and out, love. 

r,. m and i

Weird things on the outside of the house....

My favorite part of our kitchen is the clear titles above our counter tops. They look kind of strange on the exterior of the house, but inside, they are the main source of light in the kitchen during the day. They are the perfect backdrop to my tea collection.

There are more drawers and shelves than I have purpose for, also a bonus.

Note that my new favorite thing in the world is on display (and in use) prominently in the room. :D

27 Weeks- Iyla

We went to Webster City for the weekend. We were so glad to be able to spend time with our friends. Ryan went to a mens retreat with some guys from church, while Iyla and I spent the weekend with Christa. We enjoyed good company, good times and a great worship on Sunday. When we came home, Miss Iyla was hamming it up for the camera, so I figured I'd share some of the cuteness with you all. Love, R, M and I

26 Weeks- Iyla

On our way home from Aunt Cari's and Uncle Ryan's house. A stop at the Worlds Largest Truck Stop. 

Smiles for Momma and Daddy are now a frequent thing. In the last few weeks she's started smiling for her Daddy, all the smiles before that were for just Momma. Daddy is a happy camper now that he's in the club. 

While Momma writes, Iyla naps or plays.

She does pretty well for the most part when left to her own devices.... as long as she can see Momma. :/ There are places all over the house that are "Iyla Spots" where she can see me while I clean or cook. Sweet girl.

Helping Momma do laundry, by playing in her crib and singing.

Getting pretty good at babbling and cooing now! LOTS of sweet noises from those sweet lips.

Tampering with the Mail is a Federal Offence

See below, the world's most adorable criminals. These small, furry creatures had taken up residence in our previously unoccupied mailbox. We were waiting for our first check to arrive once we moved in and were surprised to find that someone had torn the envelope open on one side. After a few moments of wondering who to take the issue up with, we came to realize that the pile of straw and dirt in the mailbox was there on purpose. This picture is one Ryan took the next day while cleaning out the mailbox. 

The good news is that they didn't chew on the check at all! YAY! They are still being a bother and chewing up some mail, and Ryan says that he will have to put some *treats* in there for them to go away- I agree, but under protest. They are way too cute and I kinda like them. :)

We had an excellent trip to see Cari, Ryan and the kids. We did the Jelly Belly Factory tour and visited the Cheese Castle while there.

It's always a good time with the Siegers. We were missing them and were glad to get to spend time with them.

Love from us,
M, R, and I

The Adventures of Huck... the pup

The Huckster has been living in hog heaven since arriving down south. He gets to roam free for the most part, and he gets to spend most days with his best buddy, Dad.

Break time 

Ryan is cleaning out the barns and the equipment this week, the weather is starting to really get nice! Iyla and I went to visit our two best boys, after a trip to town to get them treats from the gas station. 

Ryan and Huck at the Barns

He seems more inclined to behave out here, I'm sure it's because of all this Dad time. 

We cleaned our cars along with the equipment, as we are getting ready for a trip to the Siegers tomorrow afternoon! Yay! More to come soon! Love to you all, M, R and I

Around the Farm

Since we have arrived, we have had a few requests to share our area and stories of our everyday.

Here goes:

The following is our area:

Right out side the house, the car is parked to the right, that's where the front door is. 

Behind the car, the view from all front facing windows.

The silos.

The front of the house.

  

Our road, left of the house.

Our road, front of the house.

Our road, right of the house. See our neighbors way out yonder?

An old silo, to the right of the house, on the property. We plan to use it for housing of one pet or another. :)

Side view.

The old silo I have plans for.

The right side of the house, back door.

This is the lane I was standing in to take the above picture. Also, the view of our back yard, and the field there after. 

Huck's house next t the small barn.

Some of the usual sights.

Back yard, grain silos and Ryan shooting.

And we come full circle to the car.

Seen below, we have Ryan working! He has been busy this last week or so, filling that truck with grain and taking it to the grain place about 1/2 hour away from the house. Load, empty, repeat.

He has been LOVING it here. So have I, really. He spends his days in the barns or hauling loads to the grain place, comes in for lunch, goes back, comes in for dinner. I love it because he's right outside! I haven't really had time to go visit him while he's at work, even if it is 30 steps away. Mostly because I'm STILL unpacking and trying to make the house feel as close to home as I can (while Angel Wrangling). Well, that, and it was so cold, every time I would stick my face outside, the mucus in my nose would instantly freeze.

I decided that I would abstain from the out of doors as long as that was a "thing".

We are so blessed! This spring has a lot in store for us Iowan Collins. The weather is warming up and we have great plans for our garden. Along with our garden, we are looking forward to adopting a few feathered babies soon. We are excited at the prospect of so much life blooming all around us. We are especially thankful for Iyla's blooming, she is becoming more and more aware of her surroundings and becoming so vocal! More to share soon on that subject! But as for now, we send love and hugs to you all! Missing you.
Love,
M, R, & I